As the World Turns

I always liked the title of that soap opera, even though I never watched it (I was a fan of the ABC soaps, back in the day, particularly All My Children).  There was something comforting about an image of the world turning slowly, day by day, inexorably completing its orbit, heedless of the machinations and peregrinations of all the inhabitants below. A conversation at lunch today called that phrase to mind.  One of my co-workers was discussing the vagaries of female hormones, particularly those of the female in her early 40's, on the cusp of that thing the docs are now calling "perimenopause."

"I swear," she said, "sometimes I feel like a totally different person.  My emotions are completely out of control, and I don't think I can stand it!"

Her words recalled my own experience of those days, when I often literally felt as if an alien demon had invaded my body and was about to make me do despicable things like murder my husband or run my car off a cliff.  As I relayed some of those memories to her, I realized how good it felt to have that all behind me.  I also realized how those years of unpredictable "bad days" had simply vanished without fanfare, as if I had crossed some miraculous finish line in a marathon from hell.

When I came home, my husband told me about a meeting he had today with his former boss, the one he's been doing contract work for pretty steadily over the past six months.  Apparently, there's some rather concrete discussion about hiring him back full time.  As he talked about this plan, I realized how bleak our world had seemed just over a year ago, when practically every area of our lives seemed to be under attack.  His job was gone, mine had changed into something I thought I would hate, we had no tenants for the rental house with the adjustable mortgage,  my uncle and aunt had died leaving me with their estate to clear up...on and on it went.  I thought about those days earlier this evening, when I read my son's blog and learned about some very upsetting events in his life this past week, knowing full well the frustration he's feeling right now.

But since those particular bad days of ours, we've adjusted to all the changes, things worked out, and our life is back on an even keel.  We've even allowed ourselves to consider that maybe Jim doesn't  need to go back to work full time, that this new arrangement is actually working out quite well after all.  Who would have believed it?  Not I.

The old world DOES turn, and sometimes we face the darkness but inevitably we come round to the light.

It's good to be in the light again...I wish the same for all of you :)