(From my morning pages notebook last week on my birthday.)
As I enter my 66th year, I’m learning to….
1. Take it slow…Spend the time it takes to do things – walk Lacey, read books, write about books, cook new recipes, fold the laundry, watch the birds. There’s hardly ever a rush anymore, so just be still.
2. Be curious instead of afraid…what if everything didn’t have to be scary?
3. Notice what you notice. Pay attention.
4. Study myself. Take a deep dive into ME. Know that I’m an INSJ and Enneagram 6. Know I need quiet and peace. Know that I’m caring and loving and kind. Also know that I over-think and over-prepare and become paralyzed with anxiety. Know that I have high expectations for people and the world, and mostly for myself. Also know those expectations often will not be met. Learn how to work with these things I know, not so I can “fix” myself, but so I can transform and grow.
5. Let It Be. There’s a reason this is one of my favorite Beatles songs, and works for me when the Let It Go does not (with apologies to Idina Menzel and Frozen.) Let It Go implies giving up, throwing it away, not finishing – none of those feel like good options for me. Let It Be means it’s okay for now, maybe you can come back to it later. Or maybe not, and that will be okay too.
6. I am Enough…I don’t have to be all things to all people all the time. It’s not my responsibility to make everyone in the world happy. My true people will still love me even if I’m not perfect. And if they don’t, then I should Let Them Go.
7. Understand my purpose. I can’t change the world all alone. But I can put the best parts of myself out into the mix – the kind, loving, compassionate, generous parts.
8. Take care of myself. Since my mother died five years ago, I have to do my own self-mothering. Remind myself to dress warmly when it’s cold and eat properly. Admonish myself when I “overdo it,” (one of her favorite warnings to me.) Be tender with myself, but encourage bravery and strength. Believe I am worthy.
9. Rest. Go easy in my mind. Relax. But also keep going – with the flow, with the energy of life. This requires equanimity, a sweet spot I need to find. It’s like the marker on those big scales at the doctor’s office – you have to slide it around a little and find just the perfect spot to balance the weight.
10. Make it my intention to use my life to grow. I read this quote in Pema Chodron’s book, Living Beautifully. One of the gifts of age is the time and wisdom to spend learning and growing on a deeper level. My focus this year is on experimenting with new ideas and practices that make life more fulfilling. One of the lovely things about being older is this new sense of space in my days. The years ahead may be fewer, but there are lots of available moments just waiting to be filled. I intend to use them all.
Maybe you’re learning some things too? I’d love to know what they are.