Becca Rowan is a writer and the author of Life in General, a collection of essays about mid-life as experienced by an American woman in the 21st century. Becca loves creating connections by sharing stories on her popular blog.
Yesterday I remarked to a friend that it had been months, literally, since I "went shopping."
“My mom and I used to go shopping all the time,” I said, recalling fond memories of shopping trips and lunches out. “She loved to wander through the malls and stores, especially when the seasons changed. She rarely bought anything, and if she did, she usually returned it! But she enjoyed looking at all the ‘pretty things’” as she called them."
But shopping lost it’s luster for me a long time ago.
The world feels precarious and upended, doesn’t it? After the tumult of the election and the reactions from both sides of the fence, I feel as if we’re all dice that have been put into a cup, shaken furiously, and spilled out willy-nilly onto the craps table.
The past year has been, far and away, the most tumultuous year I have ever experienced. The events of last week have done little to alleviate the fragile state my emotions were already in. Today I wonder if my anxiety and upset about this election have perhaps been disproportionate, a reaction based on the culmination of a year’s worth of angst and unhappiness. I read something online the other day about grief being “love with no place to go.” I wonder if I have channeled a lot of grief into anger and anxiety about the state of political affairs.
I spend a lot of time wondering these days.
Honestly, these are days to try men’s (and women’s!) souls.
Can you remember a time when our nation has been this divided? The airwaves sizzle with anger, people are defensive and tempers are on a hair trigger. No matter who wins this presidential election, I feel like we have already lost so much as a group of united states.
“Perhaps this is grief’s paradox - that in acknowledging the wound in our hearts, in tending with mercy to that which is breaking open within us, we are also given an opportunity to undertake the work of becoming more fully ourselves, committing even more deeply to our own path.” ~Katrina Kenison, Moments of Seeing
"I believe words matter. I believe images matter. I believe music matters. I believe all of these things frame opinion and thought in mysterious ways we can barely explain. Because in this 21st century, the Media really does carry The Message.” Sunday Salon, Modern Creative Life, July 4, 2016
Oh, that Message.
It’s been really something, hasn’t it? For the past six months The Message has been increasingly virulent, hateful, and divisive. Ugly words are said out loud and broadcast across the world. Angry messages are hurled into cyberspace. People are “unfriended” - online and in real life too.
I don’t know about you, but this Presidential election is really wearing me out. My head hurts, my heart is sore. I alternately tremble with anger and fear. Neither The Message we are getting nor The Message we are sending aligns with my true nature or my beliefs about the people of this country.
