May I have your attention please?
Did you raise your head to listen? What did I call you away from? Brewing some tea? Reading a book? Dandling a baby on your knee? Following Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram down an endless trail?
Did you even hear me?
The world is SO noisy these days. We’re constantly bombarded with demands, like the persistent tugging of hands on our pant legs. Even at my stage of life (a retired senior citizen) I feel the pressure of those voices nagging for my attention.
“Did you choose a Medicare supplement yet? Let me tell you about the nine million choices available to you.”
“Did you hear that Congress has slashed Social Security/defunded the EPA/banned gay marriage/impeached the President?”
“Your password for this account is no longer active. Please change your password to include one capital letter, one number, and at least 16 characters.”
“Latest studies indicate that eating grain/gluten/dairy/sugar/meat (pick one or all) can cause serious health problems.”
“Don’t forget you have a dentist appointment, overdue library books, need to stop at the grocery store for those coffee filters you forgot, and better swing by the bank for some cash and the drugstore to pick up that prescription.”
Imagine a gaggle of sticky fingered toddlers attached to your shirt tail. TUG. TUG. TUG.
All these demands on one’s attention are so tiresome. Which is why, when I began thinking about a WORD for the year 2020, the word that kept coming to mind was ATTENTIVE.
But I’m putting a different spin on it than the one the world might expect. Because instead of paying attention to the voices from outside, I’m turning my attention to the voices within.
Particularly one voice.
MINE.
Since I started paying attention to my own voice I’ve heard some very interesting things.
I’ve heard that I can make time and space to fulfill my own ideas and dreams instead of always helping others fulfill theirs.
I’ve heard my stories are important, and that someone in the world needs to hear them.
I’ve heard that it’s safe for me to try new creative things and enjoy the process, and that even if I fail it will be alright.
I’ve even heard that (contrary to my prior belief) I can write if there are dirty dishes in the sink or the bed is unmade. That I can take myself out in the morning to a coffee shop with a book and read. That it’s alright to lie down on the couch in the afternoon and take a little nap - or even a not so little one.
You see, I’ve always had this notion that it was fine to pursue creative passions - like writing and music - as long as all the pre-requisites on the list were checked off first. And as a working mother and wife and caregiving daughter, there were a lot of pre-requisites.
But now most of those are gone. It’s just Jim and Lacey and me who need caring for.
Wait - I’m going to re-order that list. It’s me, and Jim and Lacey who need caring for. I’m not putting myself at the end any longer.
Most of this came to my attention during our month in Florida. Apparently it’s been so noisy here in Michigan for the past 63 years these messages couldn’t get through. Or maybe I was just so busy paying attention to all the other voices I couldn’t hear my own small voice crying out to be heard.
Finally, here in 2020, I’m being ATTENTIVE to what my heart is telling me. And I’m hearing some fascinating and life changing things.
How about you? Do you choose a word for the year? Do you feel attentive to your own voice?